001 | Laura Neilson will never be sexy

She's accepted that.

Writer Laura Neilson covers a slew of topics from culture, design, and travel, to fashion and style—her fave amongst faves (NB: she only really writes about things she likes.). “I can’t fake it, I can’t shill !@#$, if I pitch something or someone to an editor, it’s because I’m already drawn to it. That doesn’t mean I won’t write about something I passionately disagree with. But the premise will be my disagreement, and my ‘liking’ to share that.” Ok, roger that. But let’s be clear: Laura doesn’t take herself too seriously. Just try calling her foxy or sexy, and watch her combust in a fit of giggles. Alors. Allons-y?

Hi! Look at you, all dressed up on a Tuesday! Give us the threads count. Oh, ha! Well, it’s raining sheets outside, so I’ve been in a sweatshirt and leggings until about an hour ago. I have an event in midtown in a few hours, and dinner at Polo Bar after, so I need to make a bit more of an effort. These are vintage Levi’s I scored in Austin—I almost always seem to have good jeans luck there—and this is a blouse by Suzanne Rae that I’ve had for years. I’ve been really into these romantic blouses lately, but not very into spending a fortune on the new ones, so I’ve got an open search going on Ebay. I’ll probably throw a big blazer on over everything, and either Chelsea boots, or a pair of trainers.

Very feminine-masculine, dressy-casual, high-low…lots of opposing influences here. Faboosh. Yeah, you know that’s kind of how it goes. Not always in the same look. Some days I can dress like a British school boy—or very tomboyish, if that term is even PC anymore—and other days like a French school girl. A bit preppy or sporty, and usually leaning towards a gendered idea of that theme, even if I’m subverting it. But I’ve also been wearing a lot of romantic pieces lately [tugs at blouse collar], which has me feeling reallllly feminine, and that’s sort of new, so I guess it’s always changing.

So how would you describe your style now? If you were writing a profile about yourself? Oh jeez, I think I would first document whatever I’m wearing at that particular moment. It really varies day by day‚ so I guess you could say I’m an “occasion” or need-based dresser? Today’s outfit, for example, certainly exemplifies that. It all depends on the day, the weather, how I’m getting somewhere. But I guess that’s not answering your “what’s my overall style” question.

Ok, well how you think others perceive your style? Does that help? Provided we’re not including my neighbors who see me in all degrees of sloppishess on weekend mornings and house-cleaning days, then yeah, I think most people who know me and how I dress would say I’m a study in contrasts. High-low, preppy-downtown, feminine-masculine…

Sporty-sexy. No! Def, definitely NOT sexy [smirking, then hands over face]. I need a moment. I can’t hear someone call me sexy, and not crack up. It would be more like sporty-cute, even though I’ve been trying to get away from cute for years. I’m a 40-year-old woman, and I can’t seem to lose the curse of cute, which some people see as a compliment, but it feels infantilizing to me. Then again I’m the one who claims she dresses like a schoolgirl, so… One thing I’ll never be is sexy. I’d have to take a master class from Tom Ford, and even so, he’d probably lean in at the end, and tell me in his sexiest voice: “you flunked, cutie pie.”

What’s your fashion comfort food? Oh I have this great decades-old pair of quilted joggers from TopShop in a random French bulldog print, and when I put them on, I just feel safe and comfortable, but not like a slob. They have pockets, they have a fitted shape to them, so they feel more deliberate than sweatpants, which in the words of Jerry Seinfeld, announce: “I give up.” Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Are there any particular outfits or trends from your past that you’d happily forget? I have mixed feelings about capris. Also, there was a time when our school uniforms involved wearing Dickies-brand khaki pants.

Dickies???? I knoooow! And not in a cool, Gwen Stefani, skater-girl sort of way. And no, it wasn’t even a reform school—just one without fashion police. Oh! Also there was also that brief period in college when I let my thong straps show over my low-rise jeans. But that was only for da club nights. And before you even ask—no, it wasn’t even close to sexy.

Describe your last meal, and what you’d wear for the occasion. There’s a photo of me on the way to a fashion show in September 2017, and I’m wearing a boxy houndstooth blazer over a shimmering, icy-blue satin slip dress that happened to be what I wore to my sophomore prom. I wearing white tennis shoes, and my haircut is a short, Louise Brooks-style bob, which is a length I come back to often. I think that pic just encapsulates a lot of things about me: that I still own and wear pieces from my youth, my penchant for contrast, the feminine-masculine-preppy components…comfort and practicality, but with a little something extra. Yep, that’s the one. For my last meal, I’d want to perfect bowl of cacio e pepe, preferably from I Sodi. Or this hand-rolled pasta noodle called pici, which I had with a mushroom sauce during a transcendent Italian mountaintop dinner with my sister, and it just…ahhhhh, I went places with that first bite. And for dessert: my father’s cheesecake or trifle. Actually, both.

«CLOTHING CREDITS»

Jeans: I always seem to find amazing vintage Levi’s when I travel, most especially in Austin, and also recently in Paris. Aside from those, Madewell, and more recently, Reformation are my go-tos.

Shoes: Sneakers (Veja, Adidas Sambas and classic Stan Smiths—all white); Bass Weejun loafers (ICONIC!); and low ankle-boots with varying toe and heel shapes: Chelsea, Cuban, cowboy, etc,

Bag: A vintage suede and black leather Gucci purse, pilfered from my mom. It survived me accidentally driving over it with a car at a friend’s wedding. True story! Also my Yves Klein blue neoprene crossbody purse from State of Escape has gotten way more use then I ever expected given the bold color, but it’s such an easy way to jazz up an otherwise so-so outfit; and for an all-day, everyday lug-around: leather totes by Madewell, and a quilted yellow leather tote by Stand Studio.

Jewelry: I’m a serial monogamist (slash-monotonist), when it comes to jewelry. I have a classic double-band ring in gold from Aurate that I almost always wear along with my mom’s signet ring from Vassar, where we both went to college. I never wanted my own, but I love the idea of something heritage that we both share.

Vintage: Front Street General in Dumbo; Tokio7 in the East Village; Feathers in Austin, Texas; Goodwill (anywhere); and then of course the usual online suspects: The RealReal; Etsy; Ebay…I use the Gem app too, which crowdsources vintage from all these sites and then some.

Tailor: G&G Cleaners in Soho can pretty much tackle anything, from re-lining coats to bridesmaid dress alterations.

Well-Spent: Most recently, my “Nevermind” cat-eye sunglasses by Balenciaga that make me feel like a rich-bitch extraterrestrial. They were less expensive to buy in Europe, but still a big splurge for me!